OVER OR UNDER
Over or under … the greatest debate, on a seemingly insignificant event, exists in households all over the globe. And it raises heated feelings, raw aggression even. My ex-son-in-law and I once had a robust argument on the topic.
It is the soft, white, plump, toilet paper roll, so innocent-looking when fresh and new, that can create angst in anyone. And what is it about the way we extract wipes for our most basic bodily functions, that elicits such response? Seriously, why does it get under our skin, so?
The last time I was at our daughter’s home, the toilet paper was on the ‘wrong’ way. For a moment I felt betrayed … how could she have allowed this to happen in her home? She was taught the correct way all her growing-up years. What influences, which person, did she allow to alter such a sacred activity of daily living?
I removed it , turned it around and replaced it on the roller (knowing full well that the next time I went into the bathroom the roll would be right back to its under position – this toilet roll thing is one devious, powerful instinct). But with smug satisfaction, I said to myself, “There! Now it is right!”
As you have surmised by now, the right way, of course, is over. A tiny flick of a finger and you can have your two squares, or six, at the ready. If the end is hiding, all that is required is a delicate flick of one’s finger (no – not that one!) to bring the desired end into grabbing distance.
The under people have to grope underneath and in behind the roll to find the end, then, in a most cumbersome manner, extrapolate said end, and pull with contorted fingers and hand. If, however, you attempt to do the delicate flick thing, it requires several flicks, then you still must reach in back to grasp the end. There is simply no excuse for such behaviour. Then, when its duty is done, the end hangs messily behind like some obscene tail. Or, it is hidden way in behind once more. There is simply no excuse for such disorder!
The most conclusive evidence that over is correct is the elegance of the V-fold. Have you ever seen a posh hotel use the under technique? I think not. if we can make one of our less attractive bodily functions just a little more civilized and attractive, then, I say, we absolutely must.
now … let’s conduct a poll, shall we …
Are you an over or under person?
(will any of you under people be brave enough to acknowledge such deviant behaviour?)